You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
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