he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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