I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
