Dual....:-)
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
