Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
There's even glitter on my cock...
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