I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
