As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
