So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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