Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
