I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
