the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
i just had sex bonerless
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
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