At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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