I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
