I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
