Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
