Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
