Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
