He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
how drunk are you?
Several
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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