I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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