we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
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