I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
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