just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
