just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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