I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
