I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
