yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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