Her vagina should come with caution tape.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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