U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Randomize
