Life is so much better after having sex.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Randomize
