so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
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