If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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