actually, I'm a sock model
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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