We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
