By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
