I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Randomize