as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
