Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Randomize
