I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Randomize
