dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
