HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
