That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
