Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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