i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
