Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
