You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Randomize
