and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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