White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Randomize
