"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
