I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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