You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Randomize
