Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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