Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
home. puking in laundry basket.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Randomize
