I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
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