I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
