Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
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