You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
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