I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize
