Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
its not stalking. its research.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
