I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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