Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Umm I'm too high to move.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Randomize