shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
