Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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