Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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