I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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