awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Randomize