Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
