Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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